Things not to say to a grieving person.

Dealing with someone who is grieving can be a challenge. You don’t want to hurt them, you want to help them. Or you may be feeling the loss because you knew that person too. Let me share a few things that may help you not to hurt someone who is grieving.

It is okay not to talk much. They would appreciate the time and the call and the visit. You don’t need to help them or fix them. God will do that. But you can sit with them and love them. Do not act surprised when they act in a scary or unspiritual way.

You do not know how they feel. So don’t say that you do.

Do not talk about God or quote Bible verses or apply theological cures. It does not help at all.

Do not offer vague, unspecific help. If you offer help, be specific.

Clichés are like fingernails on a black board. Put your hand over your mouth when one pops into you head.

It takes time to grieve, and you telling them to hurry up or move on hurts the grieving person.

Are they in a better place? God knows, but you don’t. Remember, you are not God.

There may be a new spouse or new children. You will never have new parents. When the time is right new relationships will form. We are not stupid, just grieving.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s