It must be human nature to try to fix people we care about. If we see something that strikes us as being amiss or out of order we are quick to offer advice on how we think that issue could be corrected.
You who are single know this. Married people assume that if you are not married you should be. Some people are overt on this, saying bluntly “Why aren’t you married?” Others are more discrete, but they ask leading questions or make covert statements that leave those of us who are single reeling.
Let me put it bluntly. I got married when I was 18 years old. I was married until I was 59 years old. I only lived as a single person for a few short months once I left home. So it is only since Kathy died that I have lived as a single man. I missed the companionship and the habit of married life. I still do. But other than a few things that I lost I am enjoying being single. Does that shock you?
One of the issues we deal with in our grieving journeys is discovering our new identity minus the person who has died. For me this means being single and living alone. This is not a bleak or dreary existence. I did not come to this understanding overnight. But as I get used to the idea of being single the idea is growing on me.
I appreciate the kindness of my friends and their concern for my welfare. But no one but me and Jesus know what I really need. And if it is up to me, for now, I don’t need a wife. Remember the old saying, If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it? That’s how I am. I may be grieving, but I ain’t broke. So please don’t fix me.