Am I A Threat?

One of the issues I mentioned in lesson 5 regarding changing relationships involved the idea of a newly single man being viewed as a threat. That a man, like me, who was known as a husband and part of a married couple, now is viewed with suspicion or as an outright threat. That women who before never thought any ill toward you, if they thought of you at all, not view you with fear or trepidation. Griefshare noted this as feeling like the third wheel in a group. But also as a threat to their marriage, like you have a communicable disease.

The word threat is defined as “A person or thing likely to cause damage or danger.”. So in this context it views this strange newly single and once married person as dangerous. That explained the unusual responses I have gotten from women of all ages at my church. Women who act afraid around me. Women who will go out of their way to avoid me. Women who, if I am sitting near them and their husband, will cling to him the entire time. Women who will change their seat once they realize that I am sitting near them. I have experienced all of these and other responses in my own church every service.

What is annoying to me is I am not looking, am not interested, and certainly not going to pursue a little girl or a married woman. If anything I would defend their honor. But I get the feeling that they are afraid of me. This is most noticeable at church. I talk to women at work and to my customers every day with no problem. I am not a flirt. I am a normal man who is not looking for a wife or even a date. So why this irrational view of me as a threat? Women who act that way around me only make me uncomfortable and make me want to stay away from church. I am no threat to you or anyone. So stop treating me like I am.


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