Did you ever hear of explosive emotions? Have you ever experienced them? In the grief journey we may and probably will experience explosive emotions.
What are explosive emotions? Anger, hate, rage, blame, terror, resentment, and jealousy are all examples of explosive emotions. You may recognize some of these as common to a grieving heart. I have written about these in the grieving lessons. What these are in general are a kind of protest that we make when a loved one dies. We feel cheated or wronged and therefore we express many explosive emotions.
Expressing and embracing explosive emotions is however essential to getting through the grief and into the world of joy and light. The key to remember is that it is alright to experience them but we must be careful never to allow our emotions to cause us to hurt ourselves or others around us.
Friends and family can be put off or shocked at our emotional explosions. They want us to be happy and to be normal. They don’t know how to deal with us. The want us, who are full of conflicting emotions, to calm down and settle down and act in a logical way. People who have never grieved do not understand the intensity and irrationality of our emotions.
Suppressing explosive emotions is not healthy for the grieving person either. It can lead to low self-esteem, depression, guilt, physical ills, and thoughts of suicide. So it is important to understand what’s happening and to make time to express our emotional outbursts.
Explosive emotions are not good or bad, right or wrong. They just are. They are as normal to emotional pain as a bruise is normal to a physical injury. We need support, not judgement or criticism. And the more explosive our emotions are, the more love we need. These explosive emotions will not be with us forever. We will calm down in time. But for now don’t be surprised when you experience them.