From time to time kind-hearted and well-meaning people suggest that I need to get married again. I know they mean well. But what they don’t realize that grieving people have very tender emotions and therefore words that don’t bother others hurt us.

Many grief experts agree that it is unwise to remarry too soon after the death of your spouse. Our motives are all wrong. Our reason for marriage is all wrong. We are looking for someone to fill in the empty space left by our spouse, not looking to meet and know and love someone on their own merits. It is not fair to the potential mate for you to show affection only to back out in sadness or fear.

I will only say that if and when the time comes for you to remarry you will know it in your heart. It will be love and joy and it will be wonderful. But if you are looking for a spouse, you will be hurt and you will hurt someone else. I have learned to leave it all with God. Let God choose the time and the place and the person for you. Doing this took a heavy weight off of my mind. Instead of wondering, “What’s wrong with me that I’m not even dating?” we can rest on the comfort that God knows what’s best for us.

In the mean time I am still working out how to be single again. So don’t complicate my life by trying to hurry me into a new relationship.


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