Feeling Lonely

Loneliness: Sadness because one has no friends or company. The fact of being without companions, solitary.

Loneliness is a funny topic to tackle. Along with isolation and depression there seem to be varying degrees of loneliness. Few of us are absolutely alone in the world. I have friends and neighbors and distant family so I am not truly alone. I work with people all day long. Sometimes coming home to an empty house is a relief after dealing with the public for 8 hours.

Loneliness is not all bad either. Some creative people do their best creative work when feeling lonely. Loneliness can teach us how much we need other people to be whole ourselves. Being alone, which is not the same as being lonely, is critical to cultivating our spiritual walk. But beyond all of that loneliness is something new to me since Kathy died in 2014.

There is no pattern as to what triggers loneliness. It just seems to hit me sometimes. I feel all alone even though I’m not. I feel like no one cares even when I know they do. Sometimes I have to consciously remind myself of the times people have reached out to me or included me or just talked to me to drive off the dark mist of loneliness.

No friend can replace my wife. No family member can take her place. That empty feeling that I feel is very real. Two individuals became one flesh and now one half of that union is gone. Even a new wife will be different.

So I am writing about loneliness to quell the lonely feelings I have had all day.


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