Grieving Lesson 9

Today’s lesson is on the topic of being stuck in your grief. Stuck as in you have been grieving the death of a loved one for many years. Everyone grieves. But grief is a journey, not a destination.

I am not going to write a lot about this subject as there is a lot of good material to cover. But I will mention that the tools we have to work through our grief are tools to help us do preventative maintainance on our hearts and minds so that we don’t break down completely.

Being stuck in your grief means you have not moved on. Maybe you have built a shrine to your dead loved one. Maybe you refuse to go to their room or office or shop at all. Maybe their stuff is still in your house years later. Maybe you have developed sympathy symptoms that mirror what your loved one died from. Maybe your emotions are still raw and you are inconsolable even after many years have elapsed. You are stuck.

Time alone will not heal your grieving heart. Staying busy will only put off the inevitable. Being the caregiver instead of the care receiver is our way to control the circumstances. But grief needs to happen whether you want it to or not. God did not take your loved one. He is a giver, not a thief. Thinking you will never change or that it is wrong to ever change is an attitude that needs to change.

What are some things we can do to get the grief working and doing its work in us? Do not let your emotions run your life. We are more than what we feel. Turn your focus from your feeling to the facts. And worship God. All this turns the attention from ourselves to things outside ourselves. And finally, learn to be grateful. Gratitude is a healer.

“In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18


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