Grieving may be one of the most traumatic experiences we have in life. I never want to make it seem that grieving is a series of steps or a checklist of things to do. But in studying about grief and living through my own grief I have found some truths that make it a little easier to go on your own grief journey.
1.Your grief is yours alone. It is for you to experience, and only for you. No one can do this for you. No one has the right or the power to take your grief away or to make it according to their plan. Let grief have its perfect work in you. You cannot go around it, you must go through it. Own your grief.
2.Be yourself. Express yourself. Educate others on how to deal with you as you are now. Do what you need to do to get through the pain and sorrow. Don’t let others dictate your grief. Let it out. Holding in or holding back will make it worse in the long run.
3.Make adjustments. You cannot do now even what you did before. Don’t try. Make priorities according to what you must do, not what you think you should do. You have enough stress in your life now, don’t add to it. Let people help you, especially with those little things you feel you should be able to do. Eliminate the word “should” from your vocabulary.
4. Be kind to yourself. Self care is not being selfish. It is essential to your mental and emotional and physical health. Do things that make you happy. Avoid addictive or destructive behaviors. But treat yourself to simple pleasures. Let others spoil you. On your terms.
5.Relax. This may seem hard, but it will help. Get enough sleep. Grief is exhausting. Things will work out whether you fret over them or not. So don’t fret. And don’t worry.
Remember, grief is an expression of love. It is hard, it is stressful, it is all consuming. You will feel shock, anger, denial, bargaining, acceptance, isolation, depression, and hope. Sometimes all at once. But in time you will enjoy all of life again.