I heard a woman on the radio this morning say that she was enjoying being a widow. I instantly understood what she meant. It was not that she didn’t love her husband, but he is dead. And she is very much alive.
Sometimes grieving widows feel guilty if they begin to feel good. They feel it is disrespectful to their dead spouse to ever move on in life. So they mope their way through life, like that is what is expected of them.
Let me say that grief is a journey, not a destination. Just like you grew up and moved out of your parents house to begin your own life, so widows of either gender will move out of their dead spouses house and move on to happier times. This may involve actually moving out of the house they shared. This may mean remodeling the house should they decide to stay. But no matter what details you may have to deal with, you should be happy with the results once you make the move.
I will always remember Kathy, the teenager I married and who was my wife for 40 years. But I am not married to her anymore, not even by God’s standards. Death did us part. So any happiness or joy or satisfaction I have now is because I choose to be happy in spite of being a widow. Not promiscuous, or perverted. But just happy. I can smile at a pretty girl without guilt. I can talk to women I am attracted to and enjoy it. I can structure my life around what pleases me, not what may have pleased a dead person.
I too am enjoying being a widow in so many ways. It will take considerable enticement from a woman to make me willingly give up this life I have come to enjoy so well.