One of the strange things I had to go through after Kathy died was finding out that friends of hers were not friends of mine. I guess I was just excess baggage for Kathy’s friends to deal with, like when she got invited someplace they had to include me as her husband, not because they liked me too.
Recently my daughter came for a visit. I noticed something that rang a bell with me. I saw that at my church Leah was talking and laughing with people who I have known for years but who never talk to me. I thought, it’s just like with Kathy. They know I’m Leah’s dad, but they like her and evidently don’t think much of me, since they only talk to me by accident or out of necessity.
Moving on through grief means finding your new identity. I am finding that includes new friends, or moving away from people who you assumed were friends but who obviously are not. I am not whining or crying in my root beer over this. It is something I have seen and experienced and it just added another layer to things I had already begun to process my way through
So my new life may have some old friends. But it is looking more and more like I will be meeting more new friends. That may mean new places, since the people I know here I have known for decades.
I will let you know how things work out.