Since my wife died I have been going through relationship withdrawals. From 40 years of marriage to being newly single. But I have worked through it and had begun to like the idea of being a single guy.
Until this week. All week I have been troubled by a nagging need for female companionship. Darn it, why did that come up? So since we were having a big church event this week I thought this might be a good time to test the waters a little. But here it is, Friday night, and I’m still alone and no closer to having a female friend than I was when I was still married.
I know that women I have known for a long time may have a hard time thinking of me as being single. But other women who don’t know me don’t know my history. But the myth that you will see someone across a crowded room and it will be love at first sight sure didn’t happen to me.
This is part of the roller coaster ride of grief. Mixed up emotions and unstable and untrustworthy feelings. And all of that one flesh stuff means that there is still a lot of Kathy clinging to me. I thought I could beat the 7 year mark for remarriage. But maybe not.