I have written before on the topic of grief how that those of us who are grieving need to educate people around us and we need to protect ourselves from further hurt. We need people’s help but we don’t need people’s unwanted advice or pressure. We all deal with this and in time we all work this out.
But what do we do when the things that hurt us the most are also things or people that we hold dear and count as important in our lives? What if church is the source of the only hurt and lingering pain you are feeling? What if it’s our pastor who in trying to set us right reopens old wounds or says hurtful words? I am dealing with this right now.
I am a Christian. I have gone to church three times a week for a long time. I have been involved in church outreach and ministry for many years. And now I feel like a stranger in my own church. And the person who I used to go to for help and counseling is the one who has hurt and offended me the worst.
I hope this isn’t seen as airing my dirty laundry. And that you are not surprised that church people have problems too. But it is hard when a one size fits all solution doesn’t fit me.
I have thought about changing churches. I have thought about just dropping out of church. I don’t know what to do right now. So if you are a praying person, say a prayer for me. And if you don’t believe in God, think a nice thought for me. Because my thoughts are not nice right now and my prayers are ignored in Heaven.