A thought occurred to me recently about relationships. Especially as it relates to grieving. It takes literally years for most stable relationships to develop. Good relationships don’t happen all at once or overnight. It is a million little things that we do over and over again that are the building blocks of a good marriage or stable relationship. This involves good decisions. This involves forgiveness. This involves adjustment. And ultimately this will produce a life long committment based on love.
So why then when someone we love dies do we try to rush through the grief process? I know it is painful and that it hurts. I know it is one of the most troubling times we can go through. But why do we think we can dismiss this or brush grief off like it was nothing? You may remember when I wrote that grief is proof of your love. It took years to build that kind of love. We will not be over that grief in hours or days or even years.
Some people think that one year after someone dies is the magic number. That you should be over it by one year. They are ignorant of grief in general. And your grief in particular.
Think of it this way. You fill up a swimming pool with a garden hose and it takes a long time. If you were to drain that pool it may not take as long but it will take time. So be patient and let grief do it’s work in you. You will be glad in the long run.